New archetypes identify how to boost your relationship
What if there was a magic elixir that could keep you highly attracted to your special someone?
It’s not exactly magical, but there is a new way to look at the world of relationships, a new set of archetypes that explain how you can keep your love life vibrant.
Keeping an intimate connection strong as the years go by is possible, but it’s not easy. It takes a great deal of care and observation. You need to always be watching what is happening between the two of you as a couple and how outside influences affect your intimate relationship.
Let’s look at the case of Julie and David. When they met and fell in love, Julie was happy to be a major doer at work, at home and in her community. She was a Good Doer, the archetype of a masculine-oriented woman who can do anything. But once her first child was born, she started to experience a strange warmth within her that she could only assume was her feminine self. She had not felt a strong connection with her feminine since she herself was a child.
As they welcomed each new baby, Julie felt that her renewed connection with her inner feminine essence grew stronger each time. Julie was very happy nurturing her little ones, but it upset her greatly that her relationship with David was slipping so far off track.
The more she spent time with the children as they grew, the more distant her husband became. She was at a loss to understand why. They had everything including a beautiful home which was now filled with three amazing children. Julie wondered what she was doing wrong to cause the obvious rift in her communication and connection with David.
Here’s the cause.
David was an archetype called a Pseudo Masculine Man. That means that his masculine side was never really his strong suit. When they first met, he was this way – quite a feminine-oriented man – and their strong attraction was initially formed when Julie was working hard at her career. She had a high masculine polarity and she was naturally drawn to him because opposites attract.
However, following the birth of their children, Julie’s feminine polarity started to rise, and by necessity her masculine essence lessened. The polarity between them as a couple went off track (no longer being opposite) and with it, the intimacy between them also went out the window.
But all was not lost with this relationship. Once Julie and David understood what was occurring on an energetic level, it allowed them to rectify their relationship. David strengthened his masculine polarity by sharing more of the family responsibility, doing a lot more physically to relieve Julie while she was raising the children. When he did so, they were able to rebalance their relationship and regain their intimate attraction.
In other words, when Julie shifted more heavily into her feminine side, David needed to make the equivalent shift toward his masculine side so the equilibrium in the relationship (their opposite polarity) could be restored.
Julie and David are not unusual. This process plays out with couples all the time. David struggled a bit to step up to the plate, but in the end he did not want to lose his family or his wife whom he loved. He learned the new skills of what it meant to be a man – moving closer to the archetype of the Sensitive Man - a husband, a father and the protector of his family. Once David’s internal masculine polarity was in a stronger position, the attraction and intimacy he had once shared with Julie was reignited and burned bright once again.
How Most Women Have Become ‘Male’
Each human being – male or female – has a choice. They can access more of their inner feminine or more of their inner masculine essence, depending on what needs to be done. Given societal changes in the last 50 years, the majority of women today have over-developed their masculine side to the detriment of their feminine. They now shoulder not only the majority of the responsibility for home and family, but also hold a demanding job.
In my recent book, I have described and named a number of current archetypes for men and women today. The woman described above is the Good Doer. This masculine-oriented woman is a well-oiled machine and never knows when to sit down and when to say no. This makes her not only exhausted, but she has lost touch with her feminine side. She has no time to sit and reflect on things, no time to pamper herself or pursue any creative interests. While the masculine side of the Good Doer is over-developed, she still has a kind heart and is always willing to help, to do her best for the greater good. Other female archetypes, who are even more strongly masculine, are not necessarily as kind or gentle. My research has identified the Villainous Andro and the Virtuous Andro, for example, who each have their own agendas. Then there are also the Faux Feminine Woman, who cunningly looks for a man to take care of her, and the Cougar who is on the hunt for a younger man she can prey on.
Sparking Intimacy: How Opposites Attract
When you understand who you are on an energetic level deep inside yourself, and who your partner is inside, then you are well on your way to keeping your intimate relationships in a healthy state. That’s because at everyone’s core, there is both masculine and feminine energy. Each person accesses more or less of each kind of energy, and it is the balance of these two energies that determines who you are and who you will attract.
So if you are a woman with a high degree of masculine energy, you will naturally attract a mate who has a relatively high degree of feminine energy. Because you are opposite, that’s what causes sparks. When opposites attract, intimacy is high.
Over time, you may change your internal polarity due to life circumstances. If that happens, your partner must adjust themselves internally to compensate for your change; it is the only way to keep passion alive.
ABOUT THE WRITER: Jennifer Granger is a transformational coach from Melbourne, Australia and the author of a new ground-breaking book, “Feminine Lost: Why Most Women are Male” ($19.99, Weinstein Books). In it she explains the state of affairs between men and women today and explains how maintaining a healthy inner energetic balance improves your intimate relationships, your ability to parent, and indeed all aspects of your life. For more information visit www.femininelost.com